I Still Do

Mr. & Mrs. Grant Foster 7-27-1991

Mr. & Mrs. Grant Foster
7-27-1991 

Twenty two years ago I changed my name, my address and my life. I married a man that I admired and loved as much as my limited experience would allow me to. At the time I thought love was just a euphoric emotion. I had no idea how much sacrifice would be involved in maintaining the relationship that began with a kiss and a prayer. I had no idea how young 19 was.

My husband and I have been through a lot together over the past 22 years… job changes, address changes, sickness, the death of loved ones, the births of our two children and the list goes on. My husband sacrifices everything for our family. All the money he makes is invested in our lives. He takes complete responsibility for feeding, clothing and providing a home for our family. I am so thankful for him and so proud of him.

It seems to me that marriage is just not a priority for young people today. It seems that fewer young men are willing to make the sacrifices that my husband makes. In the 50’s, marriage was perhaps the most important thing to a young person. Here we are 60+ years later and marriage is irrelevant to many and redefined by others.

I’m not a salesman…salesperson. I will only recommend something that I have tried and proven to be good. Marriage is one of those things. I want my single friends to find their soul mate because my life is infinitely better now that I have found mine.

I know firsthand that there are people who are in bad marriages. I don’t believe anyone should stay in an abusive situation. I do believe that marriage takes three: a husband, a wife and God. God came up with the idea of marriage. He knows how His design works. He is there to provide technical support. If you’re not married yet, let God guide you in choosing a spouse and keep Him at the center of your union. If you are married and never included God in your relationship, it’s not too late.

I still believe in marriage and that ring on my husband’s finger is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s a symbol of our young love that ventured beyond the security of our parents’ homes. It’s a symbol of our maturing love that learned how to communicate the words that are the hardest to say like, “I’m sorry.” and “I was wrong.” It’s a symbol of our intimate, trusting love that doesn’t need words, and a symbol of our committed love that is not debatable, not based on emotions and has no loopholes. It means, I am his and he is mine. If you’re reading this, Sweetheart, I love you! Happy anniversary!

Frosting The Stone

large_901849I’ll get right to the point. I am much too likely to avoid conflict and just “frost”
things over.

Do you like cake? Cake is my favorite food and I have certainly eaten my fill of it. I have feasted on cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Cake tastes and smells sweet and the frosting makes it beautiful to look at. Who can resist this soft, fluffy yumminess?
Not me!

But… Have you ever frosted a stone? Here’s how:

Step 1-Find a smooth, flat stone.

Step 2- Take your stone and place it on your best serving platter, the kind you keep in the highest cabinet in your kitchen, reserved for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas. Maybe it’s china. Maybe it’s crystal.

Step 3- Using a knife or spatula, cover the stone with your favorite frosting… chocolate, coconut cream, cream cheese, buttercream… The possibilities are endless.

Even when placed on your most precious family heirloom and covered with your favorite frosting, the stone is still a stone… a rock. It’s hard and heavy, not fertile or pliable like soil and certainly not fluffy or sweet like cake.

There is a situation in my life right now that I need to deal with… a stone, if you will. My calves are tired from tiptoeing around it for so long. I got honest with myself and with God earlier this week. It’s not my concern for my adversary’s feelings that keeps me from confrontation; it is my concern for my own feelings. I’ve been honest with this person about our relational issues before; and the pattern of this feline is to present her claws, arch her back and then run away hissing. I’m worn out physically and emotionally and am in no way up to another cat fight. So I smile and keep frosting the stone.

The Bible tells me this about my current plight, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Ephesians 4:26

I am praying for the boldness to once again be honest with this person. I am praying for just the right words to say so I may present the truth wrapped in love. I am praying for God to help me to be able to see past their knee-jerk reactions, to hear more than just their venomous words. I am trusting God that one day soon, we will be able to sit at a table together and order one dessert… with two forks.